Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What are the bitter truths of life one should know?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What are some possible reasons for an unfaithful spouse to not confess their affair to their partner and instead end it without telling them?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why have Indian girls almost stopped wearing sarees?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Steve Jobs was brilliant but don’t copy this 'one habit' of him; warns Pixar's Pete Docter - Times of India

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

On Which Part of the Body Might One Wear Winklepickers? - Slate Magazine

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I actually pay taxes

MindsEye Is Officially The Worst Reviewed Game Of The Year So Far - TheGamer

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What was your most memorable experience catching a fraudulent car seller?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I see through liars

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What kind of person makes you think "how come there are people like that"?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I can read

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Insane Clown Posse accidentally headlines Bonnaroo after rain forces festival shutdown - Detroit Metro Times

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy bullshit

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

NASA sets new potential launch date for Ax-4 mission to ISS - SpaceNews

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”